Relapse

I woke up with a bad cold. And it really gets me that while ill, I fall back into the same old stay-the-fuck-away-from-routines. I don't leave the house. I just kinda drag myself around the place, or watch TV-series on the comp for hours until my body turns all stiff. Then I move, walk down the stairs for another cup of tea - yet again. I've had no food today apart from a small salad and two slices of bread. I'm never hungry when I'm sick, even if it's not that big a deal. I've had more than half a gallon of tea, two cups of hot cocoa, chips and chocolate and I'm cursing myself for not only eating the goddamn stuff, but eating it on the very same day I skipped the gym. Not that I'm in some loving relationship to the gym, but I was actually getting into a pattern, and now it's all messed up. And I haven't even gone to bed yet. I should have had three hours of lovely sleep my now, but I'm still up, like during my days of unemployed collage student when there were no classes.

I was also supposed to go shopping, and then have dinner with friends today (or yesterday, seeing as it's past midnight). Sadly, my body never works with me. Day off from work? Sick! Finally started to work out at the gym? Cold, fever and sore throat! Traveling somewhere or sleeping over at a friends? Oh the joy of an unexpected period.
I'm not supposed to enjoy myself ever, I think.

But what irks me the most, is really how easy old habits are to fall back in. I thought I had already established that I couldn't live like this anymore? Yet all I needed was a cold, and I'm back at square one. I don't know if it's pathetic or unnerving. Most probably - both.