There's a week left 'til my 26th birthday. It's been a very busy and hectic year, mostly in a good way, I think. Autumn's been very stressful, and apart from the internship I'm also up to the neck in studies, which means I am basically doing two full-time scheduals and therefor studying at 200%. Because of some really messed up paper-work, I also get no financial aid until I can prove that I've taken credits these past months. I lack 2,5credits to be appointed student aid, and during november I will be finishing 30credits worth of course work. You'd think that should be enough, together with plenty of phonecalls and both e-mails and letters from my teacher, but my case is one of many amongst the masses of paper being shuffled between idiots, so at the moment I live off of my parents never-ending goodwill.
Being home, I do get to see my Stockholm friend's once in a while, but mostly for lunches during the weeks. I spend a lot of time with my sister as well, which I really appreciate. We have fun together, and we talk and watch tv-series a lot. I do miss my Uppsala-life, and my friends, and having more of my own space. I also miss my old neighbours alot. This week especially, I've been going through pictures from the past two years and been ridiculously nostalgic. I blame the fact that they are far, but also the fact that this time of year makes me emotional and travel-sick. November always holds the promise of more grey and more cold than I would like to see, all in one place, inside and out.
Also, closing in on my birthday, it makes me all the more aware of the 25-list I had laid out for myself this year. I didn't even come close to finish it. But I did do alot of things I've wanted to do, and did manage to atleast begin on a lot of projects that I'll finish in a near future. I'm quite pleased by the results all the same. Now I'm thinking, should I make a new one for next year? Or throw myself into the very ambitious 101 things in 1001 days-project instead? I could always continue on the stages from my first that I left unfinished and go from there.
It's been a strange year when it comes to the war against terror. The world is (still, and always will be) full of oppression that many agree on should not be ignored, but many are also the people who throw non-appreciative glances towards the US. and their foreign-policies. The 10th year marker after 9/11 came and went, and it was odd for me to realize it had been so long since a happening that monumentally changed the world's view on people with my ethnical heritage, and gave nations the right to invade other countries far away, with no proof, no plan, and no other intention than "doing the right thing"; which was essentially bombing poor people, looking for political figures for years without finding them and then leaving whole countries in shambles in the Middle East after being accused of only going there for the oil in the first place.
Yet things have happened, and changed. Bin Laden was finally killed this year. I say finally, not because it was a good thing that a crazy oppressor was killed (because there was no trial and no real punishment for all he's done), but because he was a symbol of many a things evil, and an easy way to look at a very complicated problem. He was one face to represent many horrors in Afghanistan (and in the world) and now that he is finally out of the picture, perhaps the rest of the western world can concentrate more on actually helping the people of Afghanistan build new lives with some dignity, instead of wrecking everything and then just leaving all our shit behind for them to deal with, when not finding what we're looking for.
The people of Egypt took up arms, and marched and marched for their freedom. It was, in everyway a glorious, powerfully haunting and brutal thing. They lost so very much to gain new ground, and hopefully, hopefully, there are new roads to pave. Of course, one of the major issues pressed on from the western world should now be "Will this new democracy you are striving for include the rights of women?" Because that aspect seems conviniently forgotten now that people (a.k.a. men) want to rebuild a new and free Egypt (for men, apparently).
And today, Muammar Gaddafi, the military ruler of Libya was announced dead. In Stockholm, the news showed people of Libean heritage celebrate. Ofcourse, there is always fear, even through the happiness. What if the news is wrong? What if the riots that follow claim more lives? What if the next regime is even worse? (Believe me, that's what most Iranians had to wittness after the revolution of -79). But still, times they are a-changing. With casualties, with chaos, but maybe maybe in a slightly better direction.
I was thinking this, when I a couple of hours earlier mentioned to a friend on Facebook-chat that I had seen the news of Gaddaffi's death. I said, it was interesting how many (I meant of these dictators) who had died or been overthrown this year. I then said, that I wondered why noone had tried to take out the Israeli regime. Now, many would think that this is a very strange comparison. That Israel is not a dictatorship or a terrorist nation. I disagree. I believe that the Jewish people have a right to their own country, to freedom and happiness and dignified lives. I refuse to believe though, that this can only be achieved by the systematic and terrorfilled oppression of their neighbours the Palestinians, who finally made a formal appeal for their independence this autumn. Perhaps it is as writer Amos Oz says, for both nations to reach a satisfying solution, there must perhaps first be made compromises that leave both parties un-satisfied. The Israeli regime might represent the fears of their people, persecuted for generations, but they cannot make me believe that the entire nation agrees that the best way of securing your own rights is to bring a new Holocaust upon you neighbours. The Gaza war of January 2009 was basically an attempt of annihilating a country from the face of the Earth, and the fact that the rest of the world just stood by and watch will forever be one of the most disgusting political dicisions made in my youth. It was so dispicable that some Jewish soldiers refused to go to war. Civilians protested. And everyone who part-took in these "unpatriotic acts" was sent to prison. In Sweden, that would be called discrimination against human rights and freedome of speech being violated by the rulers, but apparently, Isreal is not to be judged.
I find that horrific, and disgusting. I believe the regime of Israel is in many ways the same cruel, self-deluded madmen and murderers as Ghadaffi and Bin Laden. I believe that the nation of Israel deserves more than to carve it's future through the bodies of Palestinians, and I believe the people of Palestine have been long denied their human rights.
But, apparently saying this, or even indicating this by comparing the Israeli regime to Gaddafi and questioning why noone has tried to overthrow and kill them yet, is not kosher (haha), cause withing 5 minutes of writing this in my chat, my Facebook account was down for maintnance. The page informed me to return in a couple of minutes, and has as of then been unavailable to me for hours.
So, as I now feel very, very watched, I want to take this moment to say openly to whoever did all the conspiracy-like watching:
As a woman of Middle Eastern heritage, a feminist and socialist, I find the American foreign-politics to be a self-righteous, patriotic, religiously fanatic load of crap, and truly believe that the rest of the world would despise you much less if you kept it in your pants and stopped being such hypocritical arses. By now, half the third world would rather live in misery than have your wrecking-ball mentality invade their countries, and the other half are mostly blaming you for their regimes, as you continuously help opressors until they turn their backs on you.
Also, I am a literature major at Uni that barely passed second year high school chemistry, so you have no fear of me ever wanting to concoct anything strange on planes, not even now, even though my comments above might make me look like a potential risk. I can ofcourse see why you think me tempted though, cause of me being of so-called "terrorist decent" as i think it was called on American Dad, and the fact that your flight rules forced everyone else in the world to adapt to a system were we bring everything in with hundreds of miniature bottles, making everyone's bag look like something out of CSI. At least make it up to me by letting me off the hook when having to sign the ridiculous papers about not being a spy or affiliated with Nazi Germany pre-1945 everytime I fly to the US to visit relatives and friends, and finally:
If you really have the time to flag people like me through Facebook, mail, or phone-conversations, I propose you put your resources into other more urgent stuff: as in finding actual criminals, repaying your humoungous debt to China or donating the money to Zuckerberg - who despite all his money cannot seem to design a new Facebook update that doesn't suck.