Tehörnan

Tehörnan i Uppsala öppnade sin andra butik i veckan.

För oss mer långtida och registrerade kunder, skickades det ut inbjudningar till en kundkväll med te/kaffe/chokladprovningar samt 20% rabatt på hela sortimentet. Då jag är nyfiken av mig och höll på att få slut på Cheesecake-te svängde jag förbi med en kompis i en timma och handlade lite.

Det är en väldigt mysig butik. Stora fönster gör att det släpps in mycket mer ljus än i huvudbutiken (iaf under sommarhalvåret), och det är såklart nymålat och uppfixat, men utan att tappa känslan som är typisk för tehörnan, med sina rödbrunbetsade hyllor och långa kassabord. Dock väldigt underligt att de inte gjort plats för några teburkar alls, och lämnat dessa i andra butiken.
Istéet smakade för mycket persika för min del (det var smaksatt persika-citron, men jag hade föredragit lite mer citrus), sommarsage-téet var fruktigt men milt och kaffet minns jag tyvärr inte, men det kanske är ett betyg i sig, vad vet jag. Chokladpralinerna var av blandade resultat, jag tyckte nog mest om chokladöverdragen kolatryffel. Annars var päronkolorna intressanta.
Jag köpte 200g te, och kom därifrån med en tung goodie bag värd säker fem gånger mer än jag handlade för, så jag sammanfattar det hela med en mycket lyckad förhandsvisning och eftermiddag.

Abuela

Was invited to join a a friend and his friends for some clubbing tonight. Haven't been out dancing since Valborg, and though I didn't feel in the mood, and had blistered feet, I thought I'd give it a go, and at least join the pre-party.

So I dressed up, in case I felt inclined to stay out all night, and made it out of the apartment not much later than expected.
It was nice, I had two glasses of wine, met some new people, had some laughs. When we got to the club though, I still didn't really feel like partying, and I already felt tired and knew I need to save money. My saving came in the guise of a ridiculously long line. After 10 minutes me and my friend gave up, left the others and went for a coffee instead. 40 minutes later he re-joined the party, and I decided to head home. It struck me then, that I was having an old lady-week.

Some weeks, I just feel so much older than I am. I only want to sit home and read, and have tea and biscuits (this of course, I do pretty often). The clincher is, during these weeks, I prefer being alone, I always get nostalgic for music from my teens, and ideally, I watch British murder mysteries (oh M, I miss our Tea & Murder - weekends) and bake cakes. Sometimes I even do some knitting.
And it feels like an odd but welcome break from just a month ago, when I partied everyday for a week with more energy than I mustered up for partying ever, despite what age I've been, and felt like a wreckless teenager. It just feels like this exhausted compensatory week should have reared it's demanding head earlier. But no, it's been a month of combined job-hunts and part-time work, lots of new responsibilities, trying to get good exercise in while failing to get enough sleep... but all in all, it's felt like it usually does.
And then suddenly, this week I've wanted nothing more than to be in bed before midnight, I've taken up knitting my friends scarf, I walk around the house wearing this big fleece sweater though I otherwise prefer not being too warm, and after a couple of days of mostly listening to Lady GaGa, I had this sudden urge for Nickelback and Creed today (hel-lo 16 year old me...).

All the signs point towards me going into old lady-mode (basically it's like the catnap version of hibernation, or just a quick battery recharge) , so I am gonna comply. Therefor, if you are looking for me but can't get hold of me, I will probably be knitting away at home and re-organizing my bookshelves this week, out of touch with reality.

Summer After All

It's so warm and sunny I can feel it resonate through me and linger on my skin for hours after being outdoors, and it makes me lightheaded with happiness.

Produktiva dagar

Har fått ovanligt mycket gjort igår och idag, och det känns bra.
Varit på universitetets kognitionslabb och deltagit i ett experiment, träffat A för lunch och plockat upp massa papper hon skrivit ut åt mig, lämnat av böcker, vinkat av Silvi som skulle till Litauen, sett senaste avsnittet av GoT, diskat hela helgens disk, promenerat, sett film hos C, skrivit massa mail, dammsugit, städat, deklarerat, bokat tvättid, gått ut med sopor och återvinning, läst manga som ska recenseras, sökt ett par jobb, bloggat och börjat sortera igenom senaste tidens fotografier.

I eftermiddag ska jag dessutom gå på brf-styrelsemöte, dricka te med en vän som glömde sina vantar här i helgen, söka fler jobb, översätta en del papper åt en bekant, samt se på film som ska recenseras.
Imorgon har jag ännu ett experiment på kognitionslabbet, sen ska jag reklamera skor, träffa Ted, läsa på bokcirkelsboken, plugga, gå på gymmet och se på Bones med A.

Åh solen, kan du inte bara stanna kvar och tina upp allt och göra dagarna ljusare, så jag kan vara såhär aktiv och produktiv nästan varje dag? Är det för mycket begärt?

Recommended this Week: GoT

Though a pretty dedicated reader of fantasy literature, I've been post-poning the reading of George R.R. Martin's popular A Song of Ice and Fire for years.
Many of my friends recommended the series, and so when HBO decided to finally give the tv-adaptation a serious try, I had convinced myself to wait with watching it until I had at least read the first novel.

With that said, I did pretty well at first. But last week, in time for the second episode of the second season to be broadcasted, I threw in the towel. I was way too curious to wait. So me and my visiting sister gave it a try, and then basically devoured every episode there was to see in two days.

So if anyone else out there is stupidly waiting to watch this for simmilar reasons as I, I am telling you right now: You're being an idiot.
I am now obsessively waiting for the next episode, constantly humming the theme-music, and buying the Game of Thrones novel as soon as my next paycheck rolls in.

The Breakfast Club

Sunshine, On My Window

Has gone through the last boxes and bags, and though some of it will be left unpacked for yet another month or two at least, I have a pretty good idea of were everything is and where I want it to be. Only lost items I can pinpoint at the moment, are:

A scarf and a jacket - but my sister tells me they are in Stockholm.
Sleepy Hollow DVD
Sunglasses

The last one is irksome. Not only was the case a really big and nice one from ZARA that a friend gave me, and the only case we found that fit my glasses in them, but also, I really liked my shades. I only had one pair, and it's been so sunny lately it's ridiculous. Will have to turn my parent's place up-side-down when I head over there.

Catching up to do

With the risk of sounding slightly uncorked, the past week has been really nice.
I don't know if it's the sunshine, my vitamin supplements kicking in, or just me pushing all the stress and anxiety I talked about last time into a far dark corner of the brain and then ignoring it, but the results have subsequently been just fine.

I talked to one of my dear Spanish sister last week, first time we caught up since my New Years visit. She's coming to see me soon, I am thrilled! And dear Amie will be staying with us all of April! I can't believe it's only weeks until every other one from the old crowd returns to town, the potential insanity of it all is mind-bottling (check the reference).

I got tattooed -finally! It went very smoothly, though I have a second session by the end of the month to get some detail work done. I adore it, and will most probably write about it on some other occasion.

Had a long talk with my little brother, and he's visiting us southerners soon in time for Norouz. If he stays longer I might meet him again in April too, which would be awesomeness.

I got some serious studying done, and am finally following a good schedule (and having the energy for it) when it comes to the thesis. The plan is to write about a 1,5 a day, and read all the literature that needs to be read. It doesn't sound too bad, but according to my advisor, that should make up for about 10hours of studies/day for the next month, o joy.
Anyways, I wrote some reviews, cleaned, and got up in the mornings without feeling painfully exhausted.

Also. have come to realize that "this dating-thing" I've been doing, stopped being just that quite some time ago, and has evolved into what I now instead refer to as "this relationship-thing", which is quite nice ;)

My sister came to visit for the weekend, and as always it makes me glad. We visited some of my friends, saw The Artist (which I really enjoyed btw, it was charming and fun and not too long, and for a silent movie quite cleverly incorporated sound just when things were on the verge of getting a bit too repeated), talked. It was a short visit, but I'm glad we had the time for it.

Then on Monday, M. came to visit. She had some meetings in town yesterday, so she showed up the night before to give us the chance of catching up for the first time in many many months, and watch British murder mysteries the way we used to. It ended up with more catching up, talking friends, work and her wedding, and less Foyle's and Miss Marple, but it was lovely. And in the morning, I got up at the same time as her, made us banana pancakes, and the rest of the day I was on a roll.

Since yesterday morning I've cleaned and vacuumed the flat, repeatedly done dishes, studied, met a friend for coffee, watched movies with M (and A who managed to make a short visit to join us for dinner last night), met my thesis advisor, applied for a job, sent all the emails I was going to send this week, spent hours transcribing and translating a Danish interview to English, gone for a long walk, basked in the glorious sun, and just felt very very good about things.
If I had the energy to even do what I've done for the past 2 days in twice the time, every week would go much more smoothly. Perhaps the sunlight will really help. I hope so. Yesterday I went to Uni in a sweater, jeans and my leather jacket. Music in my ears, red lipstick, no scarf and all smiles. I wish more days would be like that this spring.
And perhaps they will. It's been warm enough for me to turn of the heating in the flat, though it is only March so there might as well be snowstorms in two weeks to noones surprise. But things might turn out nice, and this energy boost might stays a while. I do have much ahead of me.
April will be quite the month.

Melting & Dissolving

Though I wrote just two days ago that I'm gonna start looking forward to things more and plan my days better, I am worried about this lethargic state I'm in.
I think it could be the massive carb overload lately and the lack of gym sessions, but also the lack of minerals and vitamins (hence the supplements).

Also lately, I'm not sleeping that well. It's been months since I went through a whole night without waking, though some nights I go back to sleep almost immediately. Other times it's a lot of tossing and turning. The past weeks it's been more of the second, and most days of the week I don't fall asleep until really late/very early, or dream about these insipid things, like people I used to know showing up for no apparent reason and without really interacting with me, or me going somewhere and never getting there, or me just waiting. They're not nightmares, but neither are they good dreams, cause they consistantly leave this sense of restlessness after I awake that gets me stressed out or exhausted.

This week was OK all in all. I met friends, I got work done, I studied and watched movies. And today, things started so good. I spent time with people I care about, I ran errands, studied, took a walk in the sun, had coffee. I called my sister and said I hoped she had a great time at the concert tonight. I called my dad and congratulated him on his birthday.
Yet, on the way to the gym, this sudden feeling a void just struck me, and I felt like someone had punctured a hole into me. By the time I was on the mat doing the pilates-exercises, my hands were all numb and I felt like I was reacting to the instructers voice coming from another room. For a while I kept looking at my hands, feeling like they weren't mine. It was this strange sense off dissolving, like I couldn't even pinpoint where I was. And I felt so tired. Just from the street outside the gym I felt so suddely exhausted I wanted to cry, and afterwards I couldn't wait to get home.

So now I'm here, I've had dinner, and I don't know where the last 3 hours went. I can't think of anything I've done. And I'm so tired still. Why am I like this?

Simple Kind of Life

Jag älskar min lägenhet. Jag trivs så bra här och känner mig hemma.
Den här veckan blir det sex månader sedan jag fick nycklarna hit, och jag har knappt bott här halva den tiden, men allt känns rätt.

Det mesta är klart nu, fastän jag själv ser det som är kvar.
Gardiner ska upp, två golvlister som ska i, lite som ska målas, lite som ska putsas. Men det är mest möbler som saknas. Jag behöver fler bokhyllor, kanske en TV. En säng så jag slutar sova i bäddsoffan (fastän den är fantastisk, men om jag får gäster som övernattar blir det knepigt), ett soffbord och en skohylla. Det är fortfarande böcker överallt där de inte ska vara det, kläder överallt nu för jag har packat upp och tvättat det sista som varit undanlagt, och flera smålådor i sovrummet som jag inte packat upp ännu. Men det känns ändå klart. Det är fint, och rent, och det mesta är ordnat. Jag lagar mat och diskar och pluggar och lever här. Jag mår bra här och hoppas att det fortsätter så.
Till och med mina grannar är snälla. Ordförande i föreningen lånar mig nycklar från sin egen lägenhet när jag behöver det, den något äldre herren i lägenheten bredvid tillbringade en halvtimma idag med att hjälpa mig lära mig hur man hanterar den antika jättemangeln i tvättstugan och stannade tills jag manglat klart allt.

Det är långsamma, fullplanerade dagar som går och flyter ihop, men det är ändå OK. Jag är trött och har börjat ta järntillskott igen, och skolan känns så tung. Det är så mycket kvar av uppsatsarbetet, och travarna med böcker känns nästan hotfulla vissa dagar. Jag vet inte hur jag ska dela upp allt ännu, men det måste ordnas, helst igår om det gick.
Jag borde försöka hitta ett jobb också, men vet inte riktigt hur jag ska få tiden att räcka till. Kanske när jag blir lite piggare? Tills vidare känns det som en oerhört trygg och stabil punkt att jag trivs här. Och så ska jag skriva mer recensioner, annars går det inte runt.

Har tillbringat de senaste dagarna med att jobba, plocka och fixa i lägenheten och dra runt lite som i dimma. Såg Iron Lady på bio med A. och träffade lite folk igår, men känner mig inte helt vaken ännu. Lyssnat på No Doubt och soundtracket till Cowboy Bebob, och allt kändes liksom lite vagt.
Och sen plötsligt i eftermiddags; lägenheten badar i solsken, som om det vackraste med våren var precis bakom fönsterglaset, och jag känner att saker kommer lösa sig fint. Om inte imorgon så åtminstone snart, och det är tillräckligt.


Jag ska släppa allt och bli bara förväntningar.

Fire Walk With Me

Me and C. finished watching Twin Peaks last night.
He's already seen the entire series at least once, but I hadn't, despite the good efforts of more than one friend.
It starts out great, turns pretty twisted, unravels into complete chaos, and ends as a total mindfuck. I barely know how to process it.




I have a friend who calls me Audrey. I've never felt so beautiful.

Up Against the Walls

I love books. I love reading them, buying them, giving them away as gifts, looking at them, and the smell of them. I like the weight of paper when I turn pages, and the dryness of its feel, and the memories they hold. It's probably not an uncommon thing, and also most probably not completely healthy. None of the finer things in life ever seem to be.

As a young girl, I concidered myself a pretty avid reader, though unfortunately I don't think so anymore (mostly cause I keep running out of time in porportion to what I want to read). For years I even listed the titles and authors of all the books I read, registering them for almost ten years on this old computer we had back home. During my high school-days it crashed, taking my only copy of that list with it and in all honesty - leaving a bit of a void in me. I never registered books again, perhaps the bitterness of it wouldn't let me.
Back when I started the list, I was a regular at the public libraries. I never had that much money, so for years and to my mothers amusement yet slight annoyance, I would only buy books I had already read and knew I really liked, cause I only wanted to spend the money on something I would appreciate. I didn't start buying books in larger quantities up until after high school, so I've never considered myself having that many books. Still, apart from traveling and food, it would be the thing I spend the most money on.

Now that I finally moved into my own, proper apartment, I have to admit that what I've been the most excited about is that I get to have all my books in one place. It hasn't been the case since I moved out of my parents house in March 2009, and I've gotten a whole lot more books since then (I think my book collection expanded with 40-50 new titles during the Fall's 12-week internship alone, and that is despite the fact that I, to my great chagrin, was too broke to buy a single book during the Gothenburg Book Fair in September).

Books make me happy, and so I surround myself with them as much as I can. As a kid, I got chewed out by my teachers for bringing my own novels to class and reading them during hours instead of listening to the lessons. And one of my biggest dreams was to one day own the library that belongs to the Beast in Disney's Beauty and the Beast. Yeah, I was that kind of a nerdy kid - all dreams.
Of course that particular one never came true (and never will), but I tried to compensate for it by having my new bedroom wallpapered with what looks like rows and rows of old books. One does one's best I suppose.

The thing is, as I mentioned, I never considered myself having that many books. But now that I'm unpacking, the books seem never-ending. I've been thinking of registering all of them on Librarythings, but it seems like such a time-consuming ordeal that I'm doubting I'll ever get around to it.
At the moment though, my biggest concern is where to fit all the books. I have a big bookcase that I've moved here from mom and dads house, and dad put up some shelves yesterday as well. But I have the nagging feeling that unless I organize this incredibly well, they won't be nearly enough.


Around midnight tonight I did the mistake of unpacking more boxes since I wasn't sleepy. Now, almost four hours later, my entire couch (where I sleep these days until I purchase a new bed) is full of books, there's nowhere to put them and I am falling asleep as I am writing. I'm suspecting I'll have to move them all to one side of the sofa and just sleep on the other, which doesn't really worry me. What does on the other hand give me some concern, is that I've run out of everything remotely simillar to shelving-space, and still haven't even found the Sandman-volumes I set out to find about three hours ago.

Vamos!

Spending New Years abroad with my Spanish sisters. Joy!!

Seasons Greetings

We were never bound by Christmas traditions in my family. The tree, the tinsel, the presents were brought in at an early stage though. My father could care less, my mother saw it as a break from the lasting dark of the season and we kids just saw the fun.
So we adopted Christmas and mangled all its roots: we ate ham from a month before the holidays and stopped somewhere around Easter. We had a plastic tree, which we would boldly bring out and decorate sometimes as soon as by first Advent. We seldome followed the traditional Christmas program "Julkalendern" on TV, and on Christmas Eve we missed "Donald Duck's Christmas" every other year and convinced our parents that opening presents in the morning instead of the evening was a-OK, even though we knew it was probably wrong. We ate a mix of Swedish and Persian cuisine, and sometimes spent the day with friends, or relatives, or just with family.

These days, I wrap all the family gifts, almost into some kind of ikebana-monstrosities. Mom wants the tree out earlier though we wait til last minute. Some years the presents are aplenty, some years my siblings and I cut a budget plan. It doesn't matter. It's always nice.
This year the tree needs to be replaced and is instead full of kitch-tinsel to fill it out. I want to see Donald and my brothers girl makes fun of me. It's relaxed, and nice, and all I want is some mulled wine and a cookie and to forget I have exams in two weeks.

I hope everyone else I know and care for has an equally lovely time. Take a breather, it's good for you.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Are You Decent?

My sister came to visit me this weekend. We spent time watching Modern Family, talking, having coffee, meeting my friends and discussing the glamour of old movie actresses. Though we both have a love for old (sometimes black and white) comedies, we've usually stuck to 50's Hepburn stuff.
This weekend, it was more of a 40's theme, and we saw Gilda. Now honestly, there are no actresses looking like Rita Hayworth. I don't mean just her face, I mean the style, there's just this classic beauty radiating from her that you don't see in actresses today, despite some of them being gorgoeus.

It just seems odd to me, somehow. Because it's not that the western idea of beauty has changed that much in 70 years (not like for example slim being considered hot and healthy, while fat was all the rage 500 years ago). But it's something, unrelated to just hair and makeup and clothes, that make women todays faces really look more modern in contrast with the faces on screen back in the day. You can make them up in the same fashion and film them in black and white, and it would still show that it's fake, and that's considering that even actresses like Hayworth got some work done. The problem with looking fake today is that it's stopped being slight enhancments like corsets and a raised hairline, and now people put so much chemicals in themselves they look like they've frozen in time and space. Now this on the other hand, is amazing because it so damn alive:

Undercover

I joined my friends ambitious game-inspired photo project this year, and have already been enjoying myself immensly.

I've part-taken in two shoots since July. The first was on Alice: Madness Returns, that was released this very summer, where I model the deeply disturbed Alice.
The second was a 20's themed retro-mashup of Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis, Alone in the Dark and Laura Bow and the Dagger of Amon Ra, where I play ditzy but ambitious southern gal Laura Bow.

As of today, I will also be blogging for the homepage from time to time. Find us at:

Incognito

I write and operate under the name C. Sanchez for reason undisclosed at the time being. My charming avatar was made by Meiko Revolver, who has in fact never met me.

Advent Calendar

The Advent Calender is a big thing in Sweden. Famously known as Julkalendern, it's a national koncept that's been spreading into every aspect of Swedish life throughout the decades. You can buy a Julkalender of diffirent sorts. Some are filled with chocolate, and each day, from the 1st to the 24th of December you open a new hatch and get a piece of candy. Or behind the cardboard window there will be an image, or a rhyme. Some families make big calenders, where every day grants a small token or gift, building excitment (and further fueling capitalism...) all the way up to the big day. Stores are now offering simmilar gift-baskets.
There's even a yearly TV-show called Julkalendern. A new story devided in 24 episodes, broad casted throughout December, making it's way into most homes. Christmas is a very, very big deal in Sweden. It's a time of warmth and light during some of our darkest days.

As today is my last day at my wonderful publishing internship, I want to share with you a Christmas gift. An advent calender, at MIX - förlaget för crossover litteratur. Every day, there will be an update with pictures, stories or rhymes, given to us by our published authors and friends. Amongst others there will be Swedish authors Karin Tidbeck and Anna Kerubi, and on the international side of our publishing - Neil Gaiman, Miroslav Penkov and Angie Chau.

I'm looking forward to every day of the calender with a pang of anticipation the can only be what the essence of Christmas should ever be about.

The Big Wind-Up

In conversation last night:

Me: It's stress. It's always stress.

Mom: But... are you really that bad off? You seem very calm.

Me: Well... someone has to be (laugh).

Mom: So you just keep staying stressed and ignore it?

Me: No. I keep busy, and I don't act out so much. It would probably be healthier if I acted out. I just.. prefer not to. And then implode.

Mom makes unhappy face.

Me: Don't worry. Sometimes when it's too much, I go off on my own and have a good cry and then sleep it off, and then go back to being busy.

Mom: Oh honey...

Me: To each his own mom, to each his own.

Kvällens tekopp: Kustfägring

Grönt te smaksatt med havtorn, jordgubb och yoghurt. Köpt på Kahls.

Omdöme: Milt, sött, doftar gott. Blir lätt beskt om det drar för länge eller om vattnet är för hett, så koka ej till 100grader.

Hazy Shades

There's a week left 'til my 26th birthday. It's been a very busy and hectic year, mostly in a good way, I think.
Autumn's been very stressful, and apart from the internship I'm also up to the neck in studies, which means I am basically doing two full-time scheduals and therefor studying at 200%. Because of some really messed up paper-work, I also get no financial aid until I can prove that I've taken credits these past months. I lack 2,5credits to be appointed student aid, and during november I will be finishing 30credits worth of course work. You'd think that should be enough, together with plenty of phonecalls and both e-mails and letters from my teacher, but my case is one of many amongst the masses of paper being shuffled between idiots, so at the moment I live off of my parents never-ending goodwill.

Being home, I do get to see my Stockholm friend's once in a while, but mostly for lunches during the weeks. I spend a lot of time with my sister as well, which I really appreciate. We have fun together, and we talk and watch tv-series a lot.
I do miss my Uppsala-life, and my friends, and having more of my own space. I also miss my old neighbours alot. This week especially, I've been going through pictures from the past two years and been ridiculously nostalgic. I blame the fact that they are far, but also the fact that this time of year makes me emotional and travel-sick. November always holds the promise of more grey and more cold than I would like to see, all in one place, inside and out.

Also, closing in on my birthday, it makes me all the more aware of the 25-list I had laid out for myself this year. I didn't even come close to finish it. But I did do alot of things I've wanted to do, and did manage to atleast begin on a lot of projects that I'll finish in a near future. I'm quite pleased by the results all the same. Now I'm thinking, should I make a new one for next year? Or throw myself into the very ambitious 101 things in 1001 days-project instead? I could always continue on the stages from my first that I left unfinished and go from there.